Talking to Yourself Like Someone You Love

Whew… this one touches a tender place in me. It’s not always easy to think about — let alone talk about — because the feeling runs so deep. That ache, that quiet knowing, that I haven’t always spoken to myself with the love and softness I truly needed.

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There was a season where I gave so much of myself to everyone and everything

around me… but felt completely disconnected from

me. I remember coming home one night, emotionally and physically drained, and sitting in the stillness. A thought floated in like a whisper: “You don’t give yourself the same love you so freely give to everyone else.”

And wow… that hit something tender. Because it was true. I had always been gentle with others — patient, kind, understanding. But when it came to myself? My inner voice had sharp edges. I had been carrying this belief that I needed to earn kindness… even from me.

Sometimes, I just want to give my younger self a warm, comforting hug. Because even now, that negative self-talk still creeps in like an old familiar voice — one I never really invited. It starts as a whisper, and if I ignore it, it grows louder. It tells me I’m too small for my dreams. That what I want isn’t meant for me.

But I’ve learned to pause in those moments. To catch that voice and gently choose a different one. One that says: “You are worthy. You are capable. You are so much more than this doubt.”

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For a long time, I believed my life was meant to be small — quiet, less experienced, less traveled. And honestly, I didn’t question it. But then something shifted.

I started to wonder: What if my dreams are possible? What if I’m allowed to live a life that feels rich, full, and deeply mine?

Now, the voice I choose sounds different. It says: “You are deserving. Do what lights you up. Your joy doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else.”

And if I could sit with my inner child — little me — I’d hold her hands, look into her eyes, and tell her everything she’s always needed to hear:

“You are so loved. You are capable. You are beautiful inside and out. You are smart, curious, creative… And you are so, so important — just as you are.”

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💬 Why Are We So Kind to Everyone But Ourselves?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to show love and kindness to others — but then when it comes to you… that softness just kind of disappears?

Why do we do that?

I think a lot of us never really learned how to be kind to ourselves. We were taught to care for others, to show up, to be supportive. But no one really showed us how to do that for ourselves. So it feels weird. Or even selfish.

But honestly…

Not being kind to yourself comes with a cost.

It slowly wears you down. It makes you question your worth. It keeps you in this cycle where you think you have to earn rest, joy, love — even from yourself. And that’s heavy.

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💭 Rewriting the Inner Critic

Let’s be real — the things we say to ourselves on the hard days can be brutal. Maybe you’ve heard these in your head:

• “You’re behind.”

• “You should’ve figured this out by now.”

• “Why can’t you be more like them?”

• “You’re not enough.”

  
  

If I could sit next to you and gently rewrite those, I’d say:

• “You’re allowed to go at your own pace.”

• “You’re doing your best, and that really is enough.”

• “There’s nothing wrong with you — you’re human.”

• “You don’t need to be anyone else. You’re already enough.”

  
  

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🌼 What’s Helped Me Shift the Voice Inside

Over time, I’ve started practicing new habits to soften my inner dialogue — not perfectly, but intentionally.

Here’s what’s helped me:

• Journaling like I’m writing a letter to a dear friend

• Saying something kind to myself out loud — even if it feels awkward

• Asking: “Would I say this to someone I love?”

  
  

And here’s the thing — it’s okay if that inner critic still shows up sometimes. It

happens. Building the strength to speak kindly to yourself is a process, and it takes time. Just because those harsh thoughts pop up doesn't mean you’ve failed. It’s all part of the journey. What matters is how you choose to respond to them — with patience, love, and a commitment to yourself. Each time you choose kindness, you're one step closer to creating a more gentle, empowering inner voice.

If you only had one minute a day to practice self-kindness, here’s what I’d tell you to do: Put your hand on your heart. Take one deep breath. And say, “I’m doing okay. I’m allowed to be soft with myself. I’m still worthy, even on my off days

You don’t have to be perfect to be kind to yourself. You just have to start. Even a little bit goes a long way. ✨

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If this post wrapped its arms around you, I hope it made you feel a little more seen — like you’re not the only one who struggles with that voice inside. I hope it reminded you that you don’t have to carry those harsh words anymore. That softness is strength, and you’re allowed to offer it to yourself, too.

So if today feels heavy, I want you to pause, place your hand over your heart, and gently remind yourself:

“You’re doing better than you think. You’re not behind. You are growing, healing, and becoming — even on the quiet days.”

You don’t have to be anyone else. Just you — exactly as you are — is more than enough. 🌷